Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My bain and my life

I am so glad this has a spell checker.  It's wonderful.  Beep bloop beep.  I'm a failure at writing words in their correct form without the assistance of technology. Bloop bloop. Message end.

HOW AM I DOING THIS?

So it looks like I can make posts on this blog.

How is that possible?

I don't know.  I didn't ask for this power.

That guy on spiderman said that it was important to be responsible when you have some power (paraphrased) so right now I am making an internal note to act like a grown up.  It's really not that hard, and I suspect you could do better at it, so please, I implore you to try.  A civilized and mature society is within our grasp people, we are so close!  I dream of a society where all people are valued members.  Where everyone counts.  Shoes are cheap.  Pies don't make you fat.  Stuff like that.

As a side note, while I'm talking to you Internet I have something I want to mention.  I have watched some My Little Pony with my daughter and I don't understand the brony thing.  "Good production values" you say?  What do you mean?  Sure the artists coloured within the lines and that is a good thing.  "Deep and compelling" story lines you say?  Yes, when you're 4 years old.  Or if you're 24 and social retarded.  But, is it my place to judge?  Well, yes, because I'm on the Internet.  Internet has a capital I, because it is the most important internet.  And I am here, on that most important network of networks to give you this useful information for only a nominal fee.  So we agree then, it is my place to judge.  Consider yourself judged to be a dorky man-child.  It's time to take a look at yourself.  "Whatever" you say, "there is no such thing as cool".  We get it, there is no 'cool'.  But unfortunately there is 'uncool'.  There are a lot of levels of uncool.  You span them all.  You encompass them.  You embrace them.  You ate them and they become an integral part of you.  You leave foot prints of stupid everywhere you go.  They're shaped like a banana and smell like those tiny red sausages and they make high pitched whining noises as they try to adapt to an environment that does not want them.  Can you hear that noise?  Is it radiating from you?  What does it say?  

"I'm a douchebag"